1 Turkey Breast – I recommend getting one of these at least 6 days after Thanksgiving. They will be really cheap and mostly thawed out anyway from being moved around from the front of the store to the middle to the back.
1 Pack of Onion Soup Mix – Most similar recipes on the internet will recommend this. But if you skim over the specificity of this ingredient, go ahead and buy any box with the word “Onion” on it. I ended up with a box of French Onion Broth and it tasted great.
2 Cans of Cranberry Sauce – Up to 10 if you really like the taste of cranberries.
1 Bottle of Hopeful Saffron – Not just any saffron will do. It has to be the kind your friend sends you because it cures depression, surely much more effective then Prozac, Effexor, or Lexapro could ever be. The touch of tartness and naiveté this adds to the dish is essential.
2 Tablespoons of Other Herbs In Your Cabinet – I used garlic powder and sea salt.
1 Pound of Beets
Directions: Put the turkey into the crock pot. If it is a bit too large, just smash it in there with a cooking hammer (the same as a normal hammer). In a separate bowl mix all the other ingredients (unless you got the broth) and then rub it all over the turkey real good. Dump the rest of your baste in the pot. If you ended up buying the broth, or maybe even onion fig sauce, pour it in there. Cook on high for 2 hours and then on low for an additional 7. Enjoy!
Notice, the beets are optional. I only include them in all my recipes so the clever title of these columns make sense – and the eventual name of the book as well, Crock Rockin’ Beets: 102 Recipes to Improve Your Health with a Crock Pot and Beets. The first 100 are not posted here – you’ll have to buy the book.