My Friendly ‘Chops

Last week I went to a beer festival, one that pretends to be about costumes and bluegrass instead of getting drunk. I like to play along though and decided to bring the facial hair in full force. But of what design? A quick trip to and I decide to go with the “friendly muttonchops”. I assume its name was derived by the affable union of cheek hair the mustache provides. Here it is:


I have no explanation for the purple doo-rag other than I had a purple shirt and it seemed to match pretty well. While my full intention was to shave this thing after the beer festival , it became immediately clear some things are just too amazing to die.  Most reactions could be summarized by a girl at my school who was sprinting down a hallway. Before I could tell her to stop the running she haulted and stared at me for ten straight seconds with a look of bewilderment and confusion. She eventually managed to say, “Awesome beard!” before she scampered away. I feel like this scenario takes place in the head of everyone who sees me, including mine. It is very hard to walk by a mirror without pausing for an extended period.