Nathan the Runner

One of the other Nathans I often get e-mail for is apparently a runner at Victory Christian School because the cross country coach put me on his mailing list, and he recently asked for the members to update him with any changes in contact information…

Please remove me from this list – I have decided I hate running because God hates running. Ever hear of Jesus running anywhere? I didn’t think so. Don’t try and change my mind. If you ever see me running, it is only because my mom is making me – she is convinced that running expels demons when the opposite is probably true. Sometimes, I wish she would be stricken down with a holy bolt from the sky right before she reaches the finish line – maybe then all of you would learn!

Also, I don’t like to cast stones, but Nick Paloma and his entire family is insufferable [ed. note – I inferred this from the number of Palomas on the list].  If I have listen to them talk about their matching sneakers one more time, I might be forced to pray that one of them gets punched right in the face somehow.

And his response…

I will remove you from the list.  Sorry you don’t like running.  If I disliked it as much as you…I’d quit too!  Should our saviour ever change your mind about running give me a holler…I’ll add you back on.