The McGriddle


McDonald’s latest marriage of edible material and marketing is the this new breakfast sandwich. As you can see, it is even branded with an “M” like a cow might be, just in case you forgot where you bought it. Following in the footsteps of the stuffed crust pizza, it attempts to cram stuff where stuff has never been crammed before. Instead of cheese in the crust, though, it has syrup injected directly into the muffin. And instead of ingredients that can be broken down by your digestive system into nutrients, it doesn’t have those. Reviews on the internet have ranged from “I was repulsed but hungry, so I ate it” to “Off-the-chart disgusting, I’m surprised the clerk didn’t hand me the bag using tongs.” There are plenty of reasons to boycott McD’s anyway.

One-fourth of the cows slaughtered by the restaurant are old dairy cattle likely to be riddled with diseases and antibiotic residues. Not one worker at McDonald’s belongs to a union even though more clerks make minimum wage and are being robbed more than in any other profession. Half of today’s children think Ronald McDonald “knows best what kids should eat”, even though he clearly encourages a diet high in sugar, salt, fat, and milkshakes. The clown’s a real prick.

I have done my own studies on the McGriddle, and by my calculations, if you begin to eat just three of the sandwiches a week, you will, as a conservative estimate, develop diabetes and/or experience a heart attack within a month. Please stop.