This is the first in a series, I hope, to ask the above question… so anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night a few weeks ago, and typically, could not fall asleep again. So I took the opportunity to heat up a foot-long, chicken-parm from Subway. Then I ate it while looking at pictures of baby animals. I was probably too tired to think about napkins so I wiped my hands on my underwear. The next morning I stopped in my tracks as I walked through the bathroom and thought to myself, “Is that blood?” Of course, it was only smears of marinara sauce all over my shorts. It took me a few moments to realize this, during which time I also said to myself, “Yes, it’s blood – it finally happened.” This is the most disturbing part to me because I don’t know what “it” refers to, but I am apparently expecting “it” to happen someday which will leave me with no memory and blood all over my boxer briefs.