I Found My Fake ID in an Old Box…

…and if I had to do it all over again, there’s a couple things I would still do and recommend to everyone. Take a new picture. Don’t use the same picture you had taken for your license in high school, especially if you are a long-hair and pissed at the world. This combination is overly conspicuous and it is fairly easy to cut your hair. Also, for your fake name, pick an unfamiliar lead singer for a well-known rock band. I chose Chris Barron (who?) of the Spin Doctors (yes!). This is always amusing.

There’s a few things I would not recommend. Don’t use a 1995-era computer that you don’t really know how to work. Make sure your photograph has been cut so it has 90-degree angles. Don’t use a magic marker to fake the hologram. Don’t use your 1993-era dot-matrix printer to print it. Even after you’ve successfully used the ID in Chili’s and Red Robin despite doing all the aforementioned things, don’t try and use it at a bar. If you’re lucky, like me, the bartender will laugh and give you free diet cokes. But you could also go to jail.