With as many sitcoms featuring bad jokes, canned laughter, and Charlie Sheen on the air as there have ever been, FOX has finally found the secret that would make every one of them good. It’s not presenting them in high definition (although that certainly helps). It’s not even including storylines that revolve around a father instructing his cheerleading son to masturbate before the game so he won’t get an erection while climbing the human pyramid, unintentionally setting in motion a chain of events that will end with another son catching his brother pleasuring himself in a gym locker. The secret is casting Andy Richter.

I have to wonder how many people have even seen it, though. I’ll let my friend Robert explain, “Andy Richter? If I hadn’t been flipping channels, I would never have known his new show existed. Meanwhile, I’ve seen over 100 commercials for Method and Red. Don’t get me wrong, I’m down with both the Wu and the Def squad crew – the Black Out album is currently in rotation on my 3-disc boom box. But, I know crap when I see it, and that show could rate a solid 7 at www.ratemypoo.com.”

On a scale of twins, where the Olsen twins are a 1 and the Hilton sisters are a 10, Quintuplets, Andy’s new show on Tuesdays at 7:30, rates a Matthew and Gunnar Nelson, the numerical equivalent of a 7.