The Hitcher 2: I’ve Been Waiting

hitcherThe Hitcher 2: I’ve Been Waiting is the sequel that finally asks the question: How many times can one man pick up a random homicidal hitchhiker on the same stretch of highway? The answer is twice. If that sounds far fetched, it’s really not, because the rambler in this one, played by Gary Busey, may actually be the reincarnation of Rutger Hauer’s psychotic villain from the first. It’s never totally explained but certainly implied when C. Thomas Howell screams, “It doesn’t look like him… but it’s him!” I still can’t figure it out for sure. This is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night.

There are many other reasons to hate this movie: the acting, the script, the directing, and the DVD case that purports its contents to be “long-awaited”. Its most terrible crime, though, is that it makes the first film worse. This happens much in the same way Ripley’s death in Alien 3 made the first two films seem kind of pointless. Or how every time I see the original Jaws now I can’t help but think about how the shark’s family will be coming for revenge in 3-D. The Hitcher 2: I’ve Been Waiting reveals former hero C. Thomas Howell to be a drunken, anxiety-ridden, paranoid cop who “likes to shoot wackos” without justification.

Also, I don’t want to spoil this film for anyone, buts let’s just say C. Thomas Howell gets killed halfway into it. This leaves the franchise in the hands of Kari Wuhrer. Hopefully, she will be able to hand off the reigns to another washed up game show sidekick in a second sequel, maybe Issey from Cram or one of the Clue Crew from Jeopardy. And I’m sure there will be a sequel since it now seems the “Hitcher” is actually an evil spirit that appears every 20 years to kill a bunch of cops and frame somebody for it, which I think is kind of like the monster from that Jeeper Creeper series. Hmmm… The Creeper Vs. Hitcher… now that’s a movie we’ve all been waiting for.