The real Red Mountain reunion for the class of 1994 is finally being organized as a hard-core alternative to the other RM reunion - where people stop being polite, and start getting real!

WHY? Because the other RM reunion costs too much - ours is FREE! Also, we guarantee more attendees and raffles.

WHEN? The same night as the other RM reunion.

WHERE? In the Marriott across the street from the Holiday Inn Express where the other RM reunion is being held. Because ours is free (and there will be no ballroom reservations), we will all meet in the lobby. If they make us leave, we can go to Applebees down the street or somebody's house.

WHAT? A night of catching up with people you barely liked in the first place so you can mentally pass judgement on their lives in comparison to your own, which you've somehow managed to convince yourself is something other than a steady succession of unfulfilled dreams. Also, several hilarious party games and exciting events...

Professional male performers will provide full-contact amusement for everyone!

'94 graduate and current stand-up comedian Nathan Fuller will perform his Kinison-inspired act with a tailor-made routine for the special night:

"Hey, I remember you from math class, looks like you're still a fat piece of shit! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"

Graduate Kevin Shaughnessy will open the night with a speech entitled "1994 - 2004: The Past Ten Years in Star Wars, from Theater to X-Box".

Graduate Robert Jenks will end the night with a speech entitled "2003: The Year I Moved Out of My Parents' House".

At the end of the night, graduate Ken Bialobrzeski will kick the ass of:

a) anyone who was a jerk in high school and is now a success, because they've got it coming.
b) anyone who was a jerk in high school and is now a failure, because they may not have learned their lesson.
c) anyone he does not recognize.