A BEER WITH MITCH WILLIAMS

Mitch Williams, the former Philadelphia Phillies closer and World Series choke artist, retired from baseball in 1997 after a forgettable season with the Kansas City Royals. Soon after, he used a chunk of the money he stole from baseball to purchase a bowling alley, which he owns and operates to this day. I caught up with him at Strikes! in its lounge, nicknamed the 300 Club.

LCN: Hey, Wild Thing, you still wild?

Mitch Williams always hated that nickname, although it certainly described his playing style well. At this point, Mr. Williams looked like he was about to throw a punch, but if his punches are as accurate as his pitches, it probably would have missed by a mile. Hell, maybe if he had thrown more punches than pitches during his career and got tossed out on a regular basis, the Phillies would have a world series banner hanging in their stadium. God knows I didn't watch every game during the summer of '94 in a shitty bar down in Point Breeze to see him choke away the championship.

LCN: So, what’s up with this bowling alley thing?
MW: My dad was a bowler. I grew up in places like this and now I am fortunate enough to own one.

LCN: Is it possible to blow saves in bowling?

Williams got up and walked away at this point, something he’s been doing his entire life. I just don’t understand why he couldn’t have done it BEFORE screwing Philadelphia out of the world series experience it had a right to. Eventually, he returned from the snack bar with a mug of what surely must have been an import beer.

LCN: Is there an extra room in here where you could set up a law office? Maybe you could advertise yourself as a “Lawyer Who Closes the Deal” but then lose every case?
MW: Huh?!

Williams had to ponder this one for a second but he soon tossed the contents of his mug of beer at me. It definitely wasn’t American brewed. He then followed that by tossing the empty mug, which didn’t come close to touching me.

LCN: Ha! You missed. Ball four, Wild Thing.
MW: This interview is over!

I left shortly thereafter but not before putting on some golf shoes and running up and down every lane while Mr. Williams watched. The satisfaction of HIM watching ME step all over someone’s dreams was worth the trip.

- Reported by Philadelphia native Steve Smith