»This
Rita Coolidge Album Cover
I bought this record in a dust bin from an antique store that actually
had an old
Radio Flyer in the back. Two weeks after that, I bought my
first electric guitar in the window display from that very same
store. Just kidding, I haven't even listened to it. |
»Weakest
Link Contestants
Possibly the most annoying group of people ever assembled on one
television show with the possible exception of Sorority Life.
Just once, please, admit you deserved to be kicked off! |
| IN
THE ZONE WITH SPORTS
TALK
|
»Wasssup
Wit' Da 'Backs?!
An examination into why the Arizona Diamondbacks, picked to win
their division, are at the bottom of the standings after winning
the World Series only 2 years ago. What went wrong? Who's to blame?
Will it ever end? |
|
|
METH
LABS FOUND IN KIRKUK (BR)
Mobile methamphetamine labs have been found buried in the
Iraqi desert. “There's no question,” said Gen. John
Pendleton of the 101st Airborne Division, “that these are
meth labs- the glassware, the Bunsen burners, the rear cabin full
of cold & allergy medicine.” While these do not present
evidence of the chemical weapons that the U.S. has accused Iraq
of having, Pendleton noted that these are usually “gateway
labs” and the discovery of ricin factories can’t be
far behind.
SWANK-LOWE
POSITION ON WAR STILL NOT CLEAR (BR)
Hollywood power-couple Hillary Swank and Chad Lowe (ranked
#4 on E!'s Hollywood power-couple list) have not yet made their
announcement as to where they stand on the war. Insiders familiar
with the duo say they expect something to come out soon, probably
with a "pro-troops" flavor. In one recent interview,
however, Chad said, "We may wait until the war with Syria
before we say anything. It would probably be the same position
we have on this war, and as actors, we don't want to repeat ourselves
or do the same thing twice."
HALLIBURTON
GETS NEW STATUE CONTRACT (BR)
Is was revealed that despite taking no bids, the
government contract to replace the statues in Iraq was given to
Halliburton. There was no comment from the White House, although
it is obvious that this article would have been a whole lot funnier
if it was accompanied by a picture of, say, the famous “E”
Enron sculpture, but it was digitally morphed into an “I”
Iraq sculpture, thus shrewdly combining Photoshop jokes, oil humor,
and government conspiracy theories. |
 |
|
A live performance circa the salad days, these rural-punk moonshiners
break open a barrel of Neil Young's hard core cider. So, take ten
swigs.
If
you like it, buy some from your local mom 'n' pop major
appliance and CD retailer. |
|
»Student
Fights
One time, back in college, I stared at the bulletin board in the
dormitory hallway for over an hour. The only product of that time
is this poem.
»On
Love and Sex and ...
Celebrity Treat Williams recently revealed the secrets
of "growing up" to his son. Now, for some reason, he
shares that parenting experience with the rest of us.
»A
Matter of Plethics
Old Professor Elliot thinks rich college kids aren't
the only ones who deserve an education in philosophy. Poor people
with internet access do too. |
Dear
Robin,
My wife, "Janine," and I were married three months ago.
We have a large circle of friends who gave us wonderful wedding
gifts. Yesterday, a mysterious
package arrived
in the mail...
...Read
the rest and Robin's reply... |
|
