THE IMPLICATIONS OF WHEEL OF FORTUNE
by Steve Smith 
- 10.24.03
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Remember when hunky Bob Goen,
now of Entertainment Tonight, was given the hosting
duties of Wheel of Fortune on a trial basis? I
hardly do either, but given the nature of the game, of the
wheel itself, I’m hoping Pat Sajak did not panic and
shit his pants as producers decided whether to stay with
him, the effeminate geek, or to give his hosting duties
to the former jock.
The ideas behind the game show Wheel of Fortune
are based upon the book, The Consolation of Philosophy,
by Roman author Boethius. The text was written in 524
A.D. from a jail cell where Boethius was placed after
being arrested for espousing ideas that were said to be
seditious.
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Boethius found solace in his ideas that man was subject to randomness
in life like a spinning wheel that once at rest predicated good
or bad fortune. His conclusion was that man should take a stoic
approach to both fortune and misfortune: both were out of his
control.
It took only 1,500 years but finally some damn genius made a
game show out of those ideas. The game serves as an accurate metaphor
for the culture that it entertains.
The wheel is fraught with both fortune and mistune. There are
cash and prizes but bankruptcy lurks. What must be noticed is
that there are much more chances for wealth than for dolor. There
are a couple “bankruptcy” or “lose a turn”
spaces on the wheel but for the most part people win money, if
only it is 100 dollars at a time. This relates nicely to reality.
Unless you are a legless hobo, you probably are moderately successful.
For the most part, people are given more chances to succeed in
life than to fail. Sure, you hear stories about the guy whose
parents died and who then went on to be sodomized and kept in
a cage by his new family, but that’s rare, right? And so
the wheel in Wheel of Fortune accurately reflects society
where chances for success abound and are much more prevalent than
forced sodomy.
The losers in the game are banished and never seen from again
and the winner is given a chance for a grand prize. This is a
symbol for death and the potential for an afterlife. Those who
were not as successful as the winner are told to leave. They represent
the men and women selected to languish in purgatory,. The winner
is given a chance for heaven, but it is a slim one. Champion guests
are usually left to mouth “motherfucker” under their
breath as the letters are turned on the phrase “Kayak Boat”.
R,S,T,L,N, and E never seem to cut it. The almost impossible task
is an allusion to Christianity. Biblical hero, Jesus, warned of
how difficult it is to enter the kingdom of heaven, more difficult
than it is for a camel to pass through a needle’s eye. Those
who do live successful lives, who react well to the spinning of
the wheel, are given a chance to enter heaven, but very few do.
Remember- 2002 grand champion Mavis Beacon is the exception, not
the rule.
And what of our hosts, who I’ve barely even mentioned
after beginning my essay as if it were all about one of them?
Pat Sajak and Vanna White- they could never be replaced. They
are unexplainable demigods, two ageless beings entrusted to eternally
spin the wheel of fortuna for all of humanity, including special
weeks that include tandems of NFL players and their fans. Check
your local listings.
Coming soon… why The Price is Right is nothing
but a modern, interactive version of Dante’s Inferno…
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