Goodbye, Newport…

Sure it may have seemed like the worst series finale ever. What other show could take questions already answered episodes ago that we never cared about anyway (Will Julie marry Bullit? Will Summer join Greenpeace? Does Ryan love Taylor?) and then somehow flash forward 6 months where those same questions all had to be answered again? Yes, it was ridiculous, but how many finales have Kevin Sorbo, of Hercules fame, literally running around all over the place (besides maybe the Hercules finale)? I rest my case.

Besides, the final montage of past events managed to sum up the experience of growing up for all of us, whether we lived in the O.C. or not. I mean, things never turn out exactly the way you planned. Still, like Mr. Cohen says, “Traffic’s traffic, you go where life takes you” and growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next you’re gone, but the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. You remember a time a place, a particular Fourth of July, the things that happened in a decade of war and change. You remember a house like a lot of houses, a yard like a lot of yards, on a street like a lot of other streets. You remember how hard it was growing up among people and places you loved. Most of all, you remember how hard it was to leave. And the thing is, after all these years you still look back in wonder…

Little Icecube News Drinks: The Bloody Nathan

1/3 Part Club Soda
1/3 Part Lingonberry Concentrate (available from IKEA)
1/3 Part Vodka
Add Crushed Ice

Most of the time, when I tell people about my signature drink and basketball nickname, The Dirty Nathan, the look of disgust on their face escalates until I am done, and then they begin to ask how I could drink something so disgusting. That’s usually when I tell them about my alternative signature drink and nickname in college I got from an incident in the dorm bathroom… that usually shuts them up.

The Grand Fuji Buffet

I recently went to the grand opening of an all-you-can-eat sushi and Chinese buffet named Fuji. My definition of a good buffet is one where you can make it all the way home without stopping at a bathroom somewhere. I still have not found a good buffet in this town.

Not a Prediction… A Recap From the Future

The 3^rd game between the Suns and Spurs in their 2007 playoff series happens about 2 hours from now. It is the first game since Amare Stoudemire called out the Spurs as a “bunch of dirty bitches”. What will happen tonight is inevitable. Stoudemire will make about 20 shots, kissing each one off the backboard. As we know from reading about Tim Duncan, this the coolest shot ever. Amare will follow each one by kissing somewhere on his arm- bicep, shoulder, finger, etc. The San Antonio crowd will boo because they think this is “whining”.

The Spurs will manage to keep it close because Michael Finley goes off for a bunch of 3-pointers. This is OK as he is still somewhat cool for calling current teammate Bruce Bowen “a dirty piece of fuck” when he was still with the Mavericks. Of course, just as Nash nails a three-pointer to tie the game late, Bowen will undercut him and break his ankle. As Bowen is thrown out, the crowd will boo because they think this is “just good defense”.

Eventually, the Suns will win on another backboard shot by Stoudemire at the end of overtime – a dunk! No one has ever seen or even envisioned what a dunk off the backboard looks like and it just shows what an unselfish player Amare is. Most players would have saved the first new dunk invented in 25 years for the All-Star dunk contest.

Nash comes back to play the next 2 games on a broken ankle averaging 50-20-10 (points – assists – blocks) and sending the Spurs home. Also, the NBA governing board of directors strips Dirk Nowitzki of his MVP trophy on the basis of “retardedness” and gives it to little Steve Nash and on the basis of “awesomeness.”

The Zombies and Godzilla

A piece of paper I found at school…

The ferocious Godzilla lives in a haunted house. Zombies found him watching TV and eating people for dinner. The zombies were wearing torn up black shirts and red shoes.

Godzilla looked through the backyard where the zombies were. First, Godzilla is fighting the zombies to death and Godzilla is looking where the zombies are in the backyard. The zombies and Godzilla are using punching skills to fight. They’re in the backyard to see who takes over the mansion.

They are using knives to fight each other in the backyard. Godzilla has won the fight against the zombies. Godzilla is laughing saying, “Ha-ha!”

The zombies are looking where Godzilla is in the backyard. Next, Godzilla is eating all the tiny people for dinner. The zombies are thinking about the plan they’re going to get Godzilla.

Godzilla is looking for where the zombies are. Godzilla has changed his mind that he can tell the zombies something. Godzilla tells the zombies about the friendship they agreed on.

They sit down in the mansion for dinner. They had a delicious steak together. They should get back together in the mansion and call the house a big happy family.