Kevin’s Monkey of the Week

My name is Kevin Shaughnessy and I love monkeys. Every year or so I take a month off work for my “Monkey Tour” – visiting exotic locales that have a considerable population of rare and interesting primates. When I get back, some asshole will usually ask me what it’s like to be a roadie for Mickey Hart. I usually just show them the candid, amateur pics from my journey. I know that may sound a little like a type of homemade pornography, and the photo to the right may look a little pornographic, but these are really just snapshots of all the chimps I’ve seen. My monkey of the week is one such chimp, Lulu the Lady Monkey.

The sign pictured to the left tells tourists not to put their fingers inside the cage of Lulu, who happens to be a Cotton Top Tamarin, typically found only in southeast Asia. This is because most people do not understand how to speak the highly advanced body language of monkeys. For instance, standing with your arms folded across your chest, staring and smiling at an ape is the human English equivalent of telling someone to “bite my fingers off”. So, it is not surprising if someone who chooses to put their fingers in the cage after doing just that, loses their fingers. My name is Kevin Shaughnessy and I love monkeys.